Oleg Zabluda's blog
Sunday, December 09, 2012
 
How would you defeat an 800lb gorilla in an an MMA fight?
How would you defeat an 800lb gorilla in an an MMA fight?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mixed_martial_arts_rules#Fouls
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mixed_martial_arts#Rules

A gorilla probably can't be knocked out with punches or kicks to the head. Skull/neck is too massive and brain is too light.

A standard menu of submissions by joint manipulations, probably is not going to work either. All of them rely on the fact that your whole body (usually back) is stronger then his single limb (like say in a arm-bar). This does not hold for a gorilla. A gorilla can do biceps curls, even if you resist with your whole body. See https://plus.google.com/112065430692128821190/posts/bWRd899gmTe

His legs are proportionally weaker then his hands, so maybe knee-bar or any number of ankle locks would work, but I doubt it very much. All of those also rely on him not being able to sit up and reach you with hands. Not likely.

Nor would a rear naked choke work. That relies on him not being able to tear your arm right off. Ditto for side choke or triangle choke.

I think your best bet is to knock him out with a Thai roundhouse kick to the liver with your left leg.

But the best thing working for you is that there is no suck thing as 800lb gorilla. Even the biggest silver-back wild male gorilla is only 400lb. Morbidly obese gorillas in captivity are only 600 lb.

Alistair Overeem (280lb) knocked out Brock Lesnar (280 lb) with just suck a kick to the liver.
https://plus.google.com/112065430692128821190/posts/FUDBnMxdH4N

Little Fedor Emelianenko (240lb) submitted Hong-Man Choi (360 lb) with an arm-bar. Bob Sapp was 380 lb at one point.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorilla
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorilla

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