Oleg Zabluda's blog
Sunday, August 19, 2012
 
Diana (=Artemis), the goddess of hunting, was super-pissed at the Orion the hunter.
Diana (=Artemis), the goddess of hunting, was super-pissed at the Orion the hunter.

Diana's daughters (from Atlas), the Pleiades, were slutty, easy to get, and were putting out left and right. Easy virtue. Their mother tolerated it, as long as they were hooking up with gods, but when Orion, the mortal, banged the youngest of the seven sisters, Merope, it was strike one.

Orion was a good hunter, but weak in the head. He boasted he'll hunt and kill every beast. Even if you are not a tree-hugging environmentalist, you'll agree it's idiotic. That Diana would not put up with, and sent a giant Scorpius to teach him a lesson.

Orion was hunting rabbit (Lepus) at the time, when they met face-to-cephalothorax. Orion started shooting arrows from his bow at Scorpius, to no avail, due to chitin exoskeleton. In a fair hand-to-claw unarmed combat, Scorpius picked him up with its giant claws, tossed about, and, finally, crushed. What a wimp. Hercules would bend the Scorpius into a pretzel.

Pleiades asked Asclepius (Эскулап) to resurrect Orion, which he did. Hades was furious, because of the chaos of people zipping in and out of the underworld, and asked his brother Zeus to put an end to it. Zeus killed them all and put onto the sky - Orion, Lepus, Scorpius, Asclepius (Ophiuchus) and his snake (Serpens).

Even after death, Orion was whimpering, being scared of the Scorpius, so Zeus put then on the opposite sides of the sky.

If you look at modern depiction of Scorpius, its claws are fairly small. Clearly, nonsense, from the story above. That's because the Romans, when they realized they need 12 constellations of zodiak, took majestic Scorpius claws and made a constellation Libra from it.

To this day Alpha Librae, called (from Arabic) Zubenelgenubi ("southern claw"), Beta Librae is Zubeneschamali ("northern claw"), and Gamma Librae is  Zubenelakrab, "scorpion's claw", a literal translation of how they were called in Ptolemy's Almagest. He called the whole thing "Scorpius Claws", and so do we, not accepting the "balance scales" abomination.

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Berenice (Veronica, Верочка), a newlywed Pharaoh's wife, swore to Aphrodite that if her husband returns alive from...

Berenice (Veronica, Верочка), a newlywed Pharaoh's wife, swore to Aphrodite that if her husband returns alive from the dangerous war, she would sacrifice her heavenly, long, blond hair. He did, so she cut her hair and placed it in the goddess's temple. By next morning somebody pinched (спилил) it. The Pharaoh was furious and told the negligent, or worse, priests that, unless the hair is found, he'll execute them all after nightfall.

The night fell, and the priests were saying goodbye to their lives, when one of them came up with a ridiculous excuse:
- Look, there it is, in the heavens, constellation of Coma Berenici (coma means hair in Latin, compare to Comb, Comet, Космы). The gods accepted it

That worked, due to ignorance of the Pharaoh. Everybody knew, and it was recorded in Ptolemy's Almagest, that it was the brush of hair at the tip of the tail of Leo.

We like the story, and accept Coma Berenici as a constellation (unlike some other stpid constellations). It's the closest open star cluster, the home of Galactic North Pole, and the Coma Cluster.

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Apollo had a white Raven (Corvus in Latin) at his service.
Apollo had a white Raven (Corvus in Latin) at his service. Once Apollo left the Corvus to chaperon his lover Coronis (Raven in Greek), one of Hyades, sisters of Pleiades, both in Taurus. Of course, she immediately cheated on him, the Corvus reported it, and enraged Apollo turned him black. It was strike one.

Apollo send the Corvus to the river Eridanus for water with a cup (Crater). On his way, Corvus saw a fig tree with unripe figs, waited till they ripen, then had his fill. When he got to the Eridanus, he grabbed a water snake Hydra with talons, and brought back to Apollo, coming up with a ridiculous story how Hydra delayed him. Apollo saw straight through it, killed them all, and put them in the sky.

We are for the Raven, and Apollo is an asshole.

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"The Philadelphia Story" (1940) starring Katharine Hepburn with Marianna Dizik

"The Philadelphia Story" (1940) starring Katharine Hepburn with Marianna Dizik

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